This Gen X Doctor's Story

When it came to leaving clinical practice, I spent a lot of time in denial. I knew deep down that my job didn't align with my core values (happiness, challenge, connection, service, learning and health in case you were wondering). That was, quite literally, destroying me. I was burnt out, but it wasn't the workload that was draining me of my energy: over the years, I developed strategies like choosing my battles, knowing when to walk away and setting boundaries. It was the feeling of being constrained that I couldn't bear. I felt like I was living a lesser version of myself to fit into the organisation I worked for.

But who would I be if I weren't a doctor? All those years spent getting - and then keeping - my licence to practice would be for nothing. So, instead of leaving, I wasted even more years feeling unfulfilled, unhappy (countering one of my core values right there), exhausted from lost sleep and with constant, background anxiety. I expended so much emotional energy on staying in this state, it was no wonder I was burnt out.

What I know now that I didn't then, was that coaching could have saved me so much time and energy. Yes, I'm now where I want to be (and had some great experiences along the way). The thing is, I could have got here quicker and had more fun in the process with the support of a coach. I know this because when I eventually entered coaching, everything slotted into place.

Within the first month, I realised my purpose has always been to support others to be the best version of themselves. That's clearly why I love teaching and quality improvement. It was also obvious that I was missing connections with other people in ways that were meaningful to me (and not the endless, time-consuming team meetings that never really translate into action). I discovered that advocating for palliative care, with the International Association for Hospice and Palliative Care, allows me to work to my core values of connection, challenge and service. I suppose some would say, I found my tribe.

None of this made my transition into self-employment a breeze, but it did make it easier when I knew, without judgement, why I am doing it. And in the absolute knowledge that I can be the best version of myself.

Victoria is the founder of Hamilton Hill Coaching and Consultancy, home of the What the Gen X Doctor Did Next podcast